Faithfulness

You know, something... Well something interesting. You'll have to forgive me if I seem inconsistent, but I need to write whats on my heart today, and any day from now on as I receive inspiration. When I don't have that inspiration to write whatever specifically applies to my life, I'll turn once again to God as He has so much to say. But I realized something today. I learned a little bit more about love. Now, I know the title says faithfulness, but certainly loyalty is a part of loving. In this case - loving God. I've been enduring plenty of feelings lately and have experienced that many times, they can't be trusted. Perhaps not a surprising revalation for those more experienced, but I felt (for lack of a better word) like today I won at least one battle over my feelings. Many people know that love is quite elusive, since often times what one thinks is love is infatuation, and goes away as quickly as it came. So what are we supposed to do? I know I've had strong feelings for select people in the past, and I would hate to pass it off as simply temporary with nothing deeper possible. I don't want it to happen. That would be an extreme disappointment.

What I think we can do. What I was able to do today was set aside my negative feelings and apathetic attitude and determined to run after Christ nonetheless. When I first started blogging (hah, as if I were a veteran) I was excited. Excited about the challenge of going through first Corinthians so rapidly. Excited about the fact that I would have so much free time that I could spend doing this. Excited about the Lord and the ways I could grow in Him through this online excercise. Today however I wanted to take a break from blogging. I don't know why, maybe it was just because my day contained a few things I didn't really care to do, yet did anyways. As you must know, it was Father's day. I stayed home from church and went for a hike. Not my most favorite activities. I did it because I knew I didn't want my dad having any reason to say that religion is more important than Him. It's not. Perhaps I got worn out from such a "long" day and just wanted to be able to relax and have some "Evan time," but realized my reason for doing so would have been wrong.

When I'm thinking straight I can see that feelings are powerful and I can tell when others need to dismiss them temporarily, but when it hits me, when that power hits me, it seems to be a different story. Luckily God reminded me today that He is more powerful than any human emotions. Certainly the Creator has a substantial amount of power over the created. He is worth the struggle against difficult feelings, and I was able to step out in a blind faith trusting that this was the truth. And now here I am, writing about the way God changed me just a little bit today. I believed that trusting the Lord for my comfort and restoration would be the right path, rather than laziness. Being able to say that right now is plenty reward, though I must wonder what God has in store for me next.

"A faithful man will abound with blessings..." ~ Proverbs 28:20