Not Me

Who can say, "I have made my heart pure; I am clean from my sin"? - Proverbs 20:9

Nothing New

"Fire and brimstone" preaching wasn't popular in the Old Testament days either.

"'Do not preach' - thus they preach -
'one should not preach of such things;
disgrace will not overtake us.'" (Micah 2:6)

Let's just say the prophets weren't shy about warning other nations of God's impending judgment. It doesn't always have to be horrible news, of course. There is much about God's grace for those who repent, but there is also very much about God's wrath. More than I'm comfortable with, to be honest. It simply isn't a taboo subject for them, though I'm increasingly more convinced that God doesn't tell them to preach as such simply because "it was more effective back then" or something. People don't like to hear about their sin, but this is where the gospel starts, does it not? Law before grace.

I hate talking about my own sin. I hate when others know about my sin. I just hate it. It's not comfortable; it's embarrassing; it's humiliating. But it needs to happen. Sometimes we can feel good about getting the respectable sins out. Like "I thought better of myself than I should have in this situation" or "I desired that thing covetously." What about the deepest parts of your soul that you don't want anyone to know about? What about the kind of sins that you're afraid of people knowing about because even if they're your best friend, you're sure they'll abandon you for it? Those hurt. The conviction there is not fun.

And then comes the Christmas news, the good tidings of great joy. In that darkness and sin and sickness Jesus Christ enters on the scene, and he takes personal responsibility for everything. The good news is that when there was nothing worth being excited about, when there was every reason to be afraid and be weighed down with guilt, it is then that Jesus Christ steps between you and God's wrath. It is then that he comes with hope of justification and freedom and salvation.

Wash Your Feet

Continuing my daily reading through John, I came across this verse. It's nothing new, but I think it is a good and necessary reminder: "The one who has bathed does not need to wash, except for his feet, but is completely clean" (John 13:10). Jesus is washing the disciples feet and has moved from talking about physical washing to a spiritual cleanliness. As Christians, we are totally clean. No sin is held against us. We have already laid our foundation of repentance and faith and need not lay that foundation again (Heb 6:1).

That is not to say that sin doesn't worm its way into our lives in a very real way, for "we all stumble in many ways" (James 3:2). Jesus was symbolizing the constant putting off of sin that needs to happen in the believers life. This is sanctification. Our feet will get dirty; that is certain, which is why we need to be constantly uprooting sin in our life. It cannot be allowed to cake in to our skin. It cannot be ignored, cannot be "gotten used to."

I've been convicted, challenged, and blessed by the 8-part sermon series that Pastor Mike Fabarez of Compass Bible Church in Aliso Viejo, CA just completed a few weeks ago on battling sin. We need to take drastic steps to hunt it down, rather than passively accept its existence. So, how's it going with you? Are there any sins you need to have washed off your feet, Christian? If you are not allowing Christ to wash you, then "you have no share with [him]" (John 12:8). But isn't it amazing that the Lord of glory would willingly stoop to do such a thing for us? Praise God for His grace!

Search Me, O God

Psalm 139 is one of those chapters that I've always known about but never really studied. I've been making an attempt at memorizing it lately, but alas, I have been lazy about the last 8 verses or so.... and I'm due to be done tomorrow! Well, I think I'll get it done, but first I needed to mention something that a good friend of mine and I realized as we were memorizing these verses. The most commonly quoted verse out of this chapter is probably verse 14 which says:

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. My soul knows it very well."

This is a great verse (of course in the end they all are). It speaks to the majesty of God. It speaks of our proper response in seeing the grandeur of His creation: praise. We should not think highly of ourselves when we realize the intricacy with which God designed us (vv. 13,15). Instead, we think highly of Him and of His works. David is humbled by the facts he is reciting on the paper rather than puffed up.

And I've missed this fact for a long time.

Before, the verse used to make me feel quite nice. As if God had made me special and that he focused so much on me because I was so valuable to Him and He loved me so much. Yet David mentions emotions that don't seem to go along with this picture: "fearfully" made? What is so fearful about my composition? It is the fact that once David realized how intimately acquainted God was with every facet of his life, he realized not only God's power, but God's exhaustive knowledge of every inch of his being.

He realized God had access to his thought life (v.2). He realized God had knowledge of his daily routine (vv.2-3). Some of these things America attributes to Santa Claus at Christmas time ("sees you when you're sleeping", "knows when you're awake"), but how often does one hear about how much God sees into our lives? Are we willing to admit that God is keeping a list that He doesn't have to check twice because He's so perfectly holy and can't miss a single sin? When we are truly acquainted with our sinfulness as David was (Ps 51:3), we begin to understand why he asks questions like

"Where shall I go from your Spirit, or where shall I flee from Your presence?" (7)

David at this time is not exactly taking comfort in the fact that God knows every minute detail about his life. God's omnipresent, omniscient power is overwhelming and David feels like he needs an escape hatch. But there is nowhere to go. David is trapped. And in fact, it is the Lord who is trapping him:

"You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me." (5)

The Lord does not let David go from His grasp. I am thankful that the Lord caught me, trapped me, and did not let me go. I would have been long gone now were it not for the grace afforded me. With all the talk about light and dark, it seems clear that God is the one who exposes, and David (men) is the one who conceals by nature. However, David does well by the end of the Psalm to plead with God to search him and reveal any "grievous way" (24). Upon realization of the truth that God sees and knows all, David has responded to the exposure of his own sin not by passively accepting it, but actively pursuing it.

How many times do you actively pursue the exposure of your own sin? I know that for me it is certainly not an exciting proposition to find out how big of a failure I am. Nevertheless, the more one pursues the light of God to shine into their lives, the more they grow. In fact I just experienced this recently, when another good friend called and apologized for wrongs committed some time ago. The relationship was not damaged further, it was healed! God is eager to forgive. Confession of sin can only mend the relationship (1 John 1:9) and never harm it, since God already knows what you've done! As the Word says:

"A broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise" (Ps 51:17).

God is not looking to browbeat His children. He may chastise them, as a loving father should, but the goal is never humiliation with one of His own. It is restoration. Confession of and destruction of sin are too healthy to be neglected. If you're having trouble finding some (arrogant as that may seem, it happens. Then you realize later how arrogant it was...), pray to the Lord and ask Him to search you and show you your sinfulness. Then you can proceed with putting it to death.

The Sin That so Easily Entangles

What a perfect way to describe the sin that we get ourselves into. I wanted to write about this because it's been popping up in my head lately as I've been wondering what to write about next, and I really feel the Lord has put it on my heart not only to say, but to carry out in my own life. The title is a reference to Hebrews 12:1, which goes like this: "Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." I'll confess that I've been caught up in such a sin recently - probably a few of them, actually, that I don't even know about - but one specifically comes to mind. This verse is such a great encouragement to me to not get lazy. It reminds me of something Bobby said on Sunday that I thought was really good. He said when we realize how big God's love is compared to our sin, we can be set free, because when we look at it we think 'what a small thing for the power of an infinite God.' That has been a great help this week.

Sometimes I fall into thinking that God's power is just barely enough to help me stand up under the temptation of sin, but that just isnt true. I don't even know how it works, but compared with infinity, any amount is insignificant, no matter how very significant it may seem when I compare it with my own power. But that was my mistake, and that was why I fell into it - I was relying on my own goodness and power to overcome and reject it, but that ultimately crumbled. Only God's power is trustworthy and sturdy enough to withstand any temptations. Once we get a grasp on the extent of God's power and the fact that it literally lives in us through Jesus, we can see a sin that would otherwise ensnare us, and say "wow, why is that such a struggle; its such a ridiculous little thing keeping me from getting close to God." So that's been my mindset ever since. I also try to remember the pain that is caused when I willfully sin against God, and the chastisement that is promised in the Bible to those Christians who disobey their Father.

Basically it has to do with setting my mind on things above, and not thinking about all the struggles around me, which is what I find I'm doing when I fall into sin. Reading the Word is essential in accomplishing that, and its necessity cannot be overstated. So I started really reading John, not just telling people "well I've been thinking I'll start John." Sometimes I tick myself off, but I guess thats what it takes - gotta be sick of yourself. Biblically (Matthew 5) this constitutes realizing that you have nothing, no spirituality or goodness to offer whatsoever. Then on top of that you have to mourn, because if you realize you're evil and you don't give a rip, you haven't repented.

It's about time for me to cast off these weights and run my Christian race with endurance. God is waiting - won't you join me?