When Will I Learn

Right now I'm moderately frustrated with myself. I knew exactly how to solve it, but pushed it off by watching TV for the last 2 hours. That's dangerous - TV can have quite an influence over emotions and what not - not in a good way mind you. So I'm here now, sick of myself and refusing to put it off any longer.

I woke up this morning - late, took a shower thinking I could fit it in before I had to leave for camp college, and was out the door before I could eat breakfast or... read my Bible. Now, contrary to the more common excuse that "I just forgot" or "I didn't have time," well... that just wasn't the case. I got 9 hours of sleep - more than ample and could have easily woken up in time enough to get my day started off right. I actually walked out the door pretending to have a conversation with God that went something like this:

-"Evan! Good morning! Hey, could I talk to you?"
"Not now, Lord, I'm a little late."
-"It must be pretty important to you."
"...Look...I'm sorry, I'm just trying to be the kind of person you want me to be."
-"What kind of person is that?"
"Well... In this case I guess it's the kind of person that is dependable and committed to his word." (Ja. 5:12)
-"Evan...I want you to be committed to My Word." (Ps. 119:97)
"I'm... sorry... I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"

And no... I'm not schizophrenic.

Believe it or not... this happens often. Whenever I am tempted and have time to think about it. When I give in, it ends in the same fashion as the above conversation. One side reasonable and true, the other relying on weak sauce excuses, knowing which way to go and turning from it.

One side is the flesh, the other is the Spirit. The question I have for myself is - when will I learn to follow the latter all the time. It's so obvious! Even my flesh knows that following the Spirit is the blessed way (Psalm 1). The answer is relying on the power of Christ (Phil. 4:13) to be able to discpline my body (Rom. 6:12) and truly put Christ and His Word at the forefront of my mind, even if it means waking up a little bit earlier and getting a little less sleep (in this case, that still being over 8 hours). When will I learn to let the Spirit loose inside me and have Him control my life rather that myself? Luckily I did not put it completely off today, and convinced myself that watching prime time TV is not the best way to energize myself.

A small piece of advice for those Christians attaining the unattainable: Let the Spirit loose.